Good Mothers Bad Gang

Anita Anderson Dr. Mike Calvert Teenage Wasteland 18, July 2011 Good Mom/Bad Gang Kids on the street, parents that don’t care, looking for a sense of family or belonging; do you see a child at risk? While in some cases this may be true, in many instances this is not the case. In her article â€Å"Mothers, Sons, and The Gangs† Susan Horton tells of three different gang members and their families. Although the families had different backgrounds, beliefs, and techniques they all shared in common sons who were gang members. They are mothers who care but have to face alone the battle of raising their sons in a community lost to gangs. In Horton's article we are introduced to three different families whose sons are involved with gangs. Teresa Rodriguez who still feels foreign and timid about the culture of America. Maggie Garcia who was raised in the same neighborhood as her son and believes that loyalty to the neighborhood is just and understandable. Gayle Thomas Kary, because of financial struggles was thrown into the gang community and fought her best to save her son. These young men were all minors living in a society pressured by gang affiliation. Although their homes had loving mothers their gangs had friends, boldness, acceptance, and a way of life. â€Å"There may be several deep-seated, underling motives for joining gangs: â€Å"Those who join gangs are struggling with the classic, desperate needs of adolescence: for the end of childhood; for acceptance as an adult; for sexual, social and economic identity; for status and success; for respect and a sense of belonging†. Sheldon, Tracy, Brown 77) Not all of these aspects are apparent in gang members but at least one is. In Teresa Rodriguez's case her son at thirteen unbeknown to her belonged to the gang Sur 13. Because of his boldness he was shot and the family home has been victim to drive-bys ever since. The bullet missed his heart and fortunately he survived. Still he did not learn his lesson and claimed that he did not care if he died. Finally his mother threatened to send him to l ive in Mexico if he continued to go out. â€Å"He did not want that, so he stayed inside. But that has not stopped him from dressing or acting like a member of the Sur 13. After the incident of the shooting Rodriguez also found out that all three of her older sons were part of gangs. Her 16-year-old threw away his cholo clothes right when he heard about his brother. He had not been with the gang since then. The two older boys are very repentant, but it is the father had always left rearing the children to the mother he did not have a strong, active, male role model. So, perhaps he felt as if he had no other alternatives. Maggie Garcia also has a son who is a gang member but her view and approach to her son’s affiliation is very different. She was raised in the same neighborhood as she raised her son in; she understands how much the neighborhood could mean. During school her son got into a fight with a rival gang member because each claimed a different neighborhood. Her son was expelled and she felt the principal at his school was upset because my son had stated that he would die for his neighborhood, but if he had said that if he would have died for his country, the principal probably would have given him an award. This mom understood that the danger in the inter-neighborhood conflicts that her son gets into because other family members have been lost to such conflicts. Sadly this is not enough for her to forbid her son from being with his friends. She feels that by doings so would be like her son telling her not to be with her friends. Garcia follows similar problems as the Rodriguez family; she mentions her history and connection to the neighborhood. In this story the father is also absent and the mother supports her son and find it difficult to believe that her son is wrong. She does not have a bad relationship with her son but he receives no discipline or clear-cut parameters from her. She seems to feel that he is loyal to his friends and at times perhaps takes his loyalty a little too far. Garcia seems to adopt the â€Å"boys will be boys† attitude and does not want to believe that her son may be committing crimes or may be with the wrong crowd or may be in a gang. When he was arrested she insisted that he was just in the wrong place at the wrong time. She could not accept that maybe he is doing wrong and that he should have known better than to be in such situations. She tells him to stay out of the fire but her words are not strong enough to keep him out. Although she is not a bad mother, she is not giving her son reason to stay out of gangs. Because she could no longer afford to live in a community where her son had more opportunities and alternatives her son joined the only other thing, the gangs. The story of Gayle Thomas Kary may be the saddest one because the she tried everything and when she finally thought she succeeded her son, Jamee, died as a result of gang violence. Kary did more than the others, discipline, rules and action. When she caught her son cutting up soap to look like cocaine she sent him to his father, perhaps a change of venue would make the difference, but three weeks later, his dad sent him back because he couldn’t control him. She tried reasoning with him telling him â€Å"†¦ fast life goes fast. â€Å"(Horton) When he was arrested for possession of cocaine Kary was highly relieved but to her disappointment he was let out on probation. Kary refused to accept him and he was sentenced to juvenile hall and a youth camp. When he was released he had a probation officer Kary could turn to. Jamee was tired of life on the streets and his probation officer convinced him to turn himself into a youth facility away from Los Angeles. Finally things were turning around and he really seemed to have changed. He was like the child she use to know Unfortunately when she let him go out with his friends to get something to eat he was shot and died. She did everything she could but still she could not save her son's life. Unlike the other two mothers Kary was really able to turn her son Jamee around. She finally made him understand and she can say that his death was an accident. He was not just a number or a statistic of children lost to gang violence. Although, these mothers were, loving they could not help that a major factor was absent from their son’s lives, their fathers. The fathers may have been there but none seemed to take an active role in their children's lives. Parents can make a difference in their children's lives but many times they cannot do it alone. Gangs are not only the problem of the parents it is a problem of society. â€Å"To prevent gangs, society, police, and parents have to work together to keep gangs out of neighborhoods and also to address the existing gang problem†. Ojile) It may be easier to blame the parents but the truth is the parents are not only the ones to blame. We have to realize that in a society where gangs are the neighborhood it could be our son, our daughter, our nephew, etc. that is lost in the gangs. Works Cited Horton, Susan. â€Å"Mother's, Son's and the Gangs. † Los Angeles Times 16 Oct. 19 88. Print. Ojile, Todd. â€Å"Gang Activity in Wichita. † Teenage Wasteland. Baker University, Wichita Campus, Wichita, Kansas. 25 July 2011. Lecture. Shelden, Randall G. , Sharon K. Tracy, and William B. Brown. Youth Gangs in American Society. Belmont, CA: Thomson/Wadsworth, 2004. Print.